Curious Feelings….wait, what?

Its been a week!

Terrible weather, a heart surgery, and house anxiety, coupled with that “waiting for pay day so I can buy toilet paper” feeling. 

The worst. 


The weather here has been horrible for work. On a personal note, I love the snow. I love “in” days where I can just sit back with a coffee and relax (maybe finish that book!, or play some video games…. ) or just Pinterest with my Fae fiancée. I went out the other day to the dollar store and bought a crazy carpet and she thought I was nuts. Here I am, 30ish, and driving around the city in a snow storm looking for the best hill to slide down. I miss the days where, as a kid, I would spend all day outside and play on my GT, making awesome snow forts in the woods, or siccckkk jumps for my snowboard. Skating was also a big thing, although I had much more fun playing winter versions of “army men” with my friends. I almost always lived on or near a lake in Ontario growing up so a rink was always there. Dad would help shovel off the snow and flood it for us whenever we got the urge to skate around. We loved it. 

 Speaking of Dad, he went in for another heart surgery. I hate surgeries. As a child I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital and remember how terrifying it was to me. In retrospect, it really wasn’t so bad, the nurses were always nice and I made a lot of friends when I was stuck in there. I just hate feeling weak. I don’t like seeing my Dad weak either. He is the toughest son of a gun I know and the only other person who scares me as much as he does when he gets angry at me is my mother. and the way he looks after heart surgery makes me sad. My mother is anxious, I’m anxious, and Dads gone through this so many times, he knows its fine. Just some rest and relaxation and he’ll be good as new. Its crazy how routine heart surgery can be now-a-days. they spent only like an hour and put two stints in an artery outside his heart and didn’t even have to open his chest. They actually went through the wrist! It was fantastic, and its so non invasive that he actually was released later that day, to come back to my place and rest for the night at my apartment.

 Can’t wait for the house. We take possession mid April! 54 days, but who’s counting, right? My faincee and I have so many plans, I just don’t know how we are going to do all the things we want to do this year while saving for the wedding. word to the wise kids, house first, than wedding! It’s so much easier to plan a wedding after you’ve dealt with all the stresses of purchasing a home. Never do both at the same time, it will make you crazy! We plan on having a painting party (unbeknown to our friends…) right after we get keys. Sweat equity is going to be put in like crazy, and I’m sure after this, no one will want to come to our wedding because they will be afraid that they will have to set up the tent on the day of or something! ( I mean, we can always use some more people to BBQ, right???) 

 But, I’m happy that I have the weekend off to relax. I wonder what the weekend will bring???


Pressed for pressings, and the sound of gold.

I am not an audiophile.

But I love vinyl. 

The generation below me is, in my opinion, ignorant to the old ways. The self obsorbed, be yourself generation, who ironically enough attaches itself to brands and trends, have no realization to the sound of warmth. The digital age is something that I’m still getting used to and by God, I got my first Twitter account a few days ago. Digital music has changed the way you listen to music. You can take it with you where you take your phone nowadays, and it’s convenient. Going for a run? Check. Want to be anti-social at the grocery store? Check. Want to annoy everyone on the bus at 7am with your mind bending trance/ house “music” blaring from your headphones? Check. It’s all well and good. I can bob my head with the rest of them. I look like a human version of a hungry, hungry hippo. The digital age has made playlists and singles a huge deal. Artists can become overnight sensations due to YouTube or just plain smart social media marketing. People can buy only the songs they hear on the radio and not the rest of the album. Wasted potential. How do you find new things when you only do the infinite repeat? I don’t know. Or maybe the single is a global reflection of the attention span of our younger generation. Short, sweet, then on to the next thing. Bam, bam, bam. Playlists are the best examples of people just listening to the singles. One after another, hit after hit, with no new material unless Ryan Seacrest announced it on the noise box. Go forth and find new music on your own, my child!

I’m being a hypocrite though. I am guilty of having a playlist. But mine is vinyl. Playlist one is ‘side A’. 

Needle down and and wait. Here it comes. Sweet, sweet audio gold. If I were to make a comparison between digital and vinyl it would be this. If digital music is like pouring a glass of ice cold water into a clear glass, than vinyl is like pouring your favourite hot coffee into that nice mug you got at market that you actually enjoy. If digital music is like that pond set in a autumn setting, then vinyl is the lake in the middle of summer. It’s warm. It’s comforting. It makes you want to sit down and enjoy it. Hell, even the weight of the pressing is nice to hold. You can’t even hold digital. And CD’s are too easily scratched. True fact. Properly stored vinyl will actually outlast digital for being a media storage device. Crazy. I find vinyl to be that classic way of listening to music because it makes you listen to the rest of the album. Discover the rest of the artists talents and really find the structure or background of who they are and what they are trying to convey to the listener. A single is just a moment in time, but in the rest of the album, the true story is told. 

I’m not the only one on this bandwagon though. Vinyl record sales last year were up by at least two and a half percent. That’s a huge increase. People are starting to see the value in vinyl. Even HMV is starting to put pressing on their shelves.  What’s nice about that is that vinyl sales are usually generated through mom and pop shops. Local businesses seeing an boost in sales. So people of the world. I emplore you. Please stop downloading music. Please stop buying CDs. Go down to your local record shop and find your favourite artist. Pick up that fantastic looking record. Support local. And don’t worry. They usually come with digital download codes so you can still walk the dog, while listening to that ice cold digital.

 So kids, take those Beats by Dre, and plug into a record player, and read a book. 


Life steps and the backwards paths that move us forward.

So if you’ve been following my writings, you know that my fiancée and I just bought a house. It’s a scary deal for both of us, and even more for me. I just recently started a new position at my work and it’s commission based. It’s a new and wonderful position where I help people make decisions on furniture design and get to be with them from start to finish and afterwards. I honestly get to emerse myself into their lives and become like a new child (with limited) design knowledge. They trust me and take my opinions on what’s right and wrong in their living space. I love it. But it’s a risky business. Anyone in commission based sales knows this. You depend on so many different factors to see people and it takes time to build your client base. And for my fiancée and I, it’s to much. 

And I feel badly.

I wish I could mentally handle the stress of handling such delicate affairs with clients that trust me and keep up the work load with a second job. I wish that I could focus that much. I don’t handle stress well and I get nervous and thoughtless. Now that being said, it’s not that I can’t handle stress, but it’s the stress that people look to you as a person to carry forth and protect them from bad decisions and harmful financial situations. I wish I could keep my mind in the game at my main job, while taking a second part time job. But then, I think I would be stretching myself to thin. Burning the candle at both ends, as my mum would say. It’s destructive and I do not want to put any pressure on my fiancée with unwanted stress because of my inability to deal. And lastly, the financial commitments needed for buying and maintaining a home is not conducive to a new sales position. 

So I’m taking a step back. Going back to my old position. To help people, and help myself. Hourly wage peace of mind. It sounds horrible and it is definitely a step backwards in my life and career, but I need to do it this way for my sanity and my relationship. It’s going to help financially and maybe even open up the possibility of school for me again. I had dreams of going back to school for a business diploma, and maybe now, finally, I can get on that education train. And I love the company I work for. It’s full of kind and caring people, (sales people are people too!) and everybody brings their own individually and it really is a second home for me. There are people that think like me and are crazy, but also are among the most intelligent people that I know. And everyone has taught me something different. In small ways and big ways, but more importantly given me a sense of family and belonging, crazy as it may be. 

Nobody knows yet, and it will be hard to tell them when the time comes, but at least I’m not going far. Just back to the warehouse where people will only get to see me once in a while when they need help or when I pop out and take a look at what could have been.

Shucks. I’m gonna miss this. 

Onwards and backwards!

To infinity…. And bed, bath and beyond

Ours. Pending a home inspection.

One would think that once an offer goes in and counters are made and met, that it’s just a few signatures and a handshake and you’re done. 

Dream on you crazy dreamers. 

My fiancée and I put in an offer on this place and only had to wait and hour to hear the counter. The seller was invested and of course countered our offer with a much higher number. Enough that we had to think about it. Parents were called, realtors questioned and our souls were tempered in a forge of uncertainty and honed with doubt. We slept on it. Ate breakfast on it. Drove to work on it. Decided that we would counter the counter. HA! We thought that we had him. Meet halfway, and everybody’s happy, right?! Nah. Homie was thugging. Staying hard on the streets. Countered again to the left. Half way from our halfway but more on his higher side. So we said no. We had to, defeated and dejected, but our realtor came through. She managed to get him to pay for water tests and septic inspections and gave us a deal that her company was putting on for other people. Also a half priced home inspection.  We were on cloud nine. WOW! 

Then came the rest. Finding lawyers. Calling mortgage brokers. Giving money. The little tidbits of knowledge that come to light after its all said and done. And the timelines for everything. Whoa nelly, back it up! This is supposed to be fun, and a big step for us! I mean, after a house comes marriage and fur babies! But it’s almost as stressful as the whole buying process. But when it boils down to it, barring crazy horrible circumstance, you now have a house to love and call your own. We have so many ideas, mainly on Pinterest, but we don’t get keys until mid-April.

The chin up! The countdowns on! 


All the rage these dayz… 

So today was a snow day. 

Started out like any other mundane January Monday. Dreary skies, murders of crows, and just an overall feeling of blah. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with having to wait to sign house papers. We made an offer last night to our realtor, and I guess you have to do something like sign a contract or something ridiculous (just kidding, very important). But it meant waiting a day. We had known a snow storm was coming in tonight so, being the nice wine drinkers we are, opted for Jill, our lady, to stay at home and enjoy hers. And I tell you, it’s the first good storm we’ve had this year. It’s coming down. Our usual 10 minute commute saw us in traffic for 2 and a half hours. At least the people were nice. You would have to get out every once in a while and brush the snow and semi formed ice off your car and offer to do your neighbours while you were out. And down the line, someone may do it for you it they notice you just need a brush off. There were people pushing, shovelling and just straight being the nicest of people. I mean, if you can’t move, you can’t move right? At one point on the on ramp for one of our major highways there were a group of people just standing there waitng to push you through onto the highway, because the snow plot that had gone by had left a 2 foot bank that the Civic were getting stuck in. 

Such lovely people!

Then there were the jack asses who just had to be somewhere and would clogged the intersections when they should have just waited. The people who would merge when the other lane seemed to move that tiny bit faster. Then merge back. The people who would honk and honk while you are trying to get up the icy slopes of Mount Nexthill and just can’t do it without Sherpa help. The fist wavers, the yelly faces, the wheel slammers. 

Such lovely people.

I think driving in winter storms should be a psychology test. The inner workings really start to come out and the beauties or the dark residents of our brains get exposed. And social interactions (or lack thereof) factor in and you can see who and what people are really made of. My fiancée and I sat in our car (turned off of course) and watched everyone else have at it, only stopping once to watch the new Jurassic Park trailer and to fume how crazy it is that Chris Pratt is lion taming velicoraptors. 

So pumped! 

Well it’s homemade pizza and storm chips and rum time. Enjoy whatever weather you are having out there tonight and I hope to slope gods I make it to a hill soon. Home dets to follow!


Feelings of Excitement! And Dread?! 

Well kids, here we go.

Blast off.

This is not a drill. Get under the desks and tuck your head between your knees and pray Tom Cruise saves you with his witchcraft. 

We put an offer in on our house. 

After weeks of ‘hhmmm’ing and ‘hawww’ing, we finally made the decision. We are going forward and taking that earth shattering first step into home ownership. It truly is a scary thought when you think of all the debt, pain, labor and responsibility that comes with it. The bills screaming at you, the stress of getting a good paycheck, and the ‘fix me’s’ that come along with a thing that hands built. Imagining trees ripping the roof off, snow drifts that leave you stranded with only canned beans and no delivery pizza, and oh! A backed up sewage problem that leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth. 

I can’t wait.

A privacy that is eluded in city life, green trees seen through every window. Beautiful, unadulterated sunrises with that condo building in the way. Deer winding their way through the yard. Friends and family gathered around the fire pit. That once normal feeling of a family setting can now be replicated through the next generation. Personally,  I can’t wait to sunbath on my own deck with a beer and a book and not have people stare at me. It would be fantastic. All those things I disliked or complained about when I was a kid at home, like cutting the grass or weeding he garden, makes my skin get goose prickles. From playing with dinky cars to manual landscaping, it feels the same right now. And don’t even get me started on decorating the house. That will be another blog on which I will go nuts on wall colours and furniture. Let’s just say I will be going overboard with ordering custom furniture

But I digress.

As scared as I am right now, the feeling of excitement rules out the foreboding feeling of reaponsible. At least right now. We still have to meet up with the realtor tomorrow at some point, and sign our life away. Holy crow. 

Somebody pinch me.

Son of a banker! >:#. Don’t rush me!

Ever noticed that when you want something you go with whatever works for your current state of mind? Even if it’s a bad idea, and you know it? You stick by the decision you made, in all its glory, all the while knowing its gonna be a blemish on your history. But you are to proud or impatient to take a step back and maybe let it go. We all have done that one thing we are not proud of, that one fashion faux pax that we did dispite  the warnings of loved ones and peers. I dyed my hair red once. And my eyebrows. I should have listened to the concerned loved ones around me. But I thought it was in my best interests to keep it. Too proud to admit that it looked like shit and I looked like a punk rock reject in chinos. Ugh. 

I bring this up as I sometimes think settling on a home because you’re tired of waiting and you just want to start that part of your life can be the same. People say you’ll “just know” when you find the one. I don’t think so. I think you truly have to think about it. Prime example. The love of my life hated me when we first meet. She thought I was a brown nosed, sneaky piece of shit just because I had been promoted a little faster than her friend. I thought she was a huge bitch who was too pretty and good to talk to me. We laugh about that now. Thankfully we thought about it, and didn’t act on the feelings of “just knowing” it. I would have been with my first girlfriend in junior high if we went on the basis of that. Horrible. Buying a house is the same. Think of your plans. How long do you want to be there? Is it just an equity maker? Flipping it? Who knows what would happen. 

My fiancée and I are currently looking at a 10/ 15 year plan for the current home we want to buy. It has good public schools around, not to far from anything and still has a great amount of freedom in the back yard. After those years are done, we can then sell and move on up to the next level of home. 

Just plan it out. Take your time. Listen to your loved ones. Drop the pride and just listen. Take someone you trust with you. Go over the positives and negatives throughly. Take your time, and don’t rush on decisions. Sleep on it! Eat breakfast and just look at the next option. If it really holds your interest, go back to it. I personally wait two two days after seeing a home. If I’m still thinking about it, I’ll arrange to go back to go over more throughly with family. 

What an odd post. I should maybe wait until after my second coffee.